Myla and Reese

Myla and Reese

This morning, my youngest decided she needed to eat at 4 am then my oldest decided that 5:45 am was her wake up call.

These are both strictly against house rules!

  Anyways, thankfully my husband got up with Myla (the oldest) while I cuddled with   Reese in bed because she needed more sleep no matter how she was going to get it. I also needed to not be upright just yet or have my eyes fully awake.

Then after awhile I got up to feed Reese, changed dirty diapers, made breakfast, and played as best we could til naptime. It was so much fun and I love hearing my girls laugh.

What I probably shouldn’t tell you is that I fought off feelings and thoughts like “what am I doing with my life?” “I feel insignificant.”  These girls are gifts of grace and my heart aches with love for them. I love being their mom. I love feeding them, cleaning them, and tickling them,

but I struggle with my sense of purpose.  

Everyday we do our best to raise them to be “sweet, kind, gentle, and listen then obey!”A phrase I whisper in Myla’s ear several times a day.  We are raising them to be good and caring humans, but that is not enough for me to get through the day with a joyful heart.  The book “Treasuring Christ” by Gloria Furman (highly recommend it) came to mind this morning after the 4 am feeding with one and 545 am wake up with the other to start the day of battling my mind. I sit down and the author reminds me of their eternal souls. She reminds me that raising children is much more than seeing them as mature and capable adults.

“Being a mother is wildly fun, yet because of eternity it is a serious joy at the same time… we miss the rising sun that signals another day of grace in which God has entrusted us with nurturing his little image bearers to love and honor him first and foremost and forever.” I often forget these things because the “mundane looms larger than eternal life.”

I want and need to keep eternity in view.

 So today I am fighting for purpose through the eternal perspective.

Anyone feel me?

-Hannah

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