I am more (probably much more) than halfway through my time on earth. Even as I write that it feels a little ominous. In fact, the perspective of that statement is both scary and convicting.  I know I’m not that old yet. I still have lots of energy and see myself as ready to face whatever. As I reflect I am blessed to say I’ve had the privilege of being a shoulder, a listening ear, mentor and/or a bible study leader to many thru the years. I hope that I’ve encouraged a few along the way. I gave the predominance of my life to my family and I don’t regret that.

But at this point in life, I have to admit that I wonder if others still see me as relevant.

I know it’s not about me. I don’t want to waste my time on emotions or thoughts that are useless and discouraging.   Yet, sometimes it’s hard to ignore cold, hard facts. It’s hard not to be discouraged when numbers are down on your watch. It’s challenging to hear that change is needed and all the ways that “everybody” else is doing it. It’s hard not to believe that you’ve failed when someone thinks it’s time for you to move on. Discouragement is a tough one to fight sometimes.

cb50dbd43db7344a9146e325f3e71dc0But the Lord does not want us to live there. He holds our future.  

I wish I could say that I have walked faithfully. I have at times, maybe even more than less. BUT I know the numerous times I’ve wasted or misspent my time and emotion on things that really don’t matter at all.  Things can seem so monumental until you get a dose of reality. Then, you realize that if you really have died to yourself as the Bible teaches, you are not enslaved to these things. Taking up offense would be non-existent.  Anger would probably not even be a part of your life because most things we get angry about are petty or about self.

I am moving on. This will be my last year of leading the women’s ministry at my church. I’ve done so for a combined 20+ years. It feels a little strange. I have to admit I wonder if I will have to go looking for ways to be used. This has been my focus for a very long time. I’m not leaving because of discouragement. This decision was the best for the church and me.  It’s time for me to get out of the way so that God can raise up His person for the next season.

Retirement looms in our future, but for a Christian that doesn’t mean ministry stops. There is no such thing as retirement from serving the Lord. My husband and I do not want to live our lives for travel and our own pleasure. We love to do those things like everyone else, but if that is our focus then we’ve lost total perspective. So, we look to the Lord for a new adventure—whatever that may be. I want desperately to be used of Him in people’s lives, but He is in charge of that. How and when He uses me is up to Him. My part is to be available and alert to opportunities He brings.  Results are His domain.   I need that reminder often.

Here’s what I hope for the next years of life on this planet. I pray for a heart that is consumed in the Lord Jesus Christ and His Word. I have come to see that most sin would be averted if we truly let our hearts be filled with His pleasure. He emerges victor over our humanity when we let Him have His place of supremacy in our hearts and minds.

A heart full of HIS Truth does not have room for lesser things.

God, I pray for redeemed time. I want to be faithful with the days and hours given. I want to love immensely and share HIS Word as much as possible.   Oh God, I ask You to help me not waste this most precious gift of time. I want to strive the right way. LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, SOUL, MIND and STRENGTH. Oh God, let it be in me, wherever You take me.